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rough draft 57

  • Upload the PDF document that contains the feedback from the Writing Center specialist. (BELOW)
  • Submit the journal assignment answering the following questions in at least 400 words:
    • Identify the top three issues your writing specialist focused on in your rough draft (e.g., paragraph structure, proper use of quotations, thesis statement, etc.).
      • In what ways were those issues surprising?
    • Describe what you learned from some of the feedback your writing specialist provided as explanations.
      • Was this feedback helpful?
    • Evaluate the usefulness of the paper review tool.
      • In what ways did this activity improve your academic writing skills?
      • Will you use the Ashford Writing Center to review your work in the future? Why or why not?
    • Identify Writing Center Video Tutorials (Links to an external site.) that you find most useful and explain why. Also, identify tutorial(s) you found least useful and explain why.

The journal part of the assignment does not need to be formatted in APA style; however, correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation is required.

Hi I’m, your writing tutor for the Writing Center. I have reviewed your submission and have several suggestions that will help you revise. Please feel free to contact us through a 24/7 live writing session with any follow-up questions or for any clarification. Below, you will find a revision plan along with margin comments within your paper. Use my suggestions as a starting point for the revision process. Note that I have not proofread the draft for minor errors, but rather, focused on larger concerns such as idea development. For a complete look at grammar and punctuation, please use Grammarly. You are exploring very interesting ideas about the problems associated with the rise of AI, and you also seem to be headed in an interesting direction with your proposed solutions! Keep up this great effort as you continue to develop your final draft! For your revisions, I suggest focusing on: 1. Thesis Statement: You seem to be on a good track so far with the direction of your thesis because you are addressing your solution to regulate AI. What specific regulations do you propose? Consider developing your thesis to address the more specific aspects of your solutions. Here is a suggested thesis format: (Topic) presents problems of X, Y, and Z, which need to be addressed and resolved based on (proposed solution), leading to the ethical implications of ___. 2. Organization & Paragraph Development: In order to promote informative and effective topic development throughout your essay, you will want to focus on one specific point/idea in relation to your thesis within each of your body paragraphs. A well-developed paragraph follows a clear PIE structure (Point, Information, Explanation). It is important to establish a clear Point in the topical sentence, which should be stated completely in your own words. Then, provide supportive Information within the middle of the paragraph with the inclusion of in-text citations. It is important to elaborate on that information in your own words with an Explanation and analysis of the point. You will also want to relate the point of each paragraph back to your thesis statement. This will help you to promote informative and fluent topic development. Check out this link for more help with paragraph development: http://writingcenter.bridgepointeducation.com/body… 3. Integrating Research: Be sure to include an in-text citation any time that you summarize, paraphrase, or directly quote another person’s words, ideas, or research information. It is also best to verify any information that is not considered common knowledge with an in-text citation. Currently, you present a lot of claims without supporting those claims with research citations. Your reader needs to know that you are basing your argument on research evidence, rather than opinion or speculation. You will want to integrate research into your paper by following the ICE method (Introduce, Cite, Explain). Introduce the point, Cite research evidence, and Explain the meaning and significance of the information. Check out this link for more help with integrating research into your paper:

 
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