Rape, by the formal deinition, means “the violation of another person’s autonomy, the use of another person’s body against their wishes” (Harding 2015, 185). So, the action of rape shoule be defined by the behavior done by the criminals, because criminals violates other’s rights of their bodies. Criminals are supposed to be the one who takes the criticism, judgement, and punishment. However, in many real situations, victims are criticized and shamed. In most cases, women are the victims of rape and sexual harassment. Even though men make mistakes, women are being humiliated.The two major criticisms public would blame women for are not making their claim clearly and not behaving properly such as going to the club and getting drunk.

The first criticism says that women are not making their refusals clear, so men misunderstand them, therefore date and acquaintance rape is not valid. This theory is supported by some people, they believe that “men and women’s brains are “wired” to think so differently that we practically speak different languages is understandably seductive to straight people who are in lousy relationships” (Harding 2015, 185). Under this theory, implicit refusals are not acknowledged. Supporters believe objections such as, I don’t feel comfortable today”, “I am not ready today”, or even physical actions like pushing others away are not refusing the sex; instead, women are just shy and play hard to get and men can hardly understand their real ideas. However, that is absolutely not true. Men and women have no difference in brain structure. It is impossible for men to not understand what women really think. In the experiment demonstrated by author Kate Harding, scientists ask both men and women whether they have trouble understanding indirect refusals. The result turns out that men have no difficulties of understanding indirect refusals (Haring 2015). Which means, when women give some implicit objections, men definitely understand it; they just pretend they don’t and use this as an excuse for their crimes. Women use implicit refusals because sometimes they want to end a date or a relationship with unhappiness or a violent fighting. However, the rape culture are forcing women to refuse sex invitaions by shouting out “NO !” for multiple times or slapping on men’s face.

The second criticism states that some women’s behaviors such as getting drunk are inviting sex. “The common sentiment is still that women who get drunk either are sluts who are looking for an excuse to have sex or should have known better that to make themselves vulnerable” (Valenti 2008 2009, 192). This idea is totally wrong. Not all women drinking alcohol are looking for sex. For most of the time, girls are just having fun with friends, relaxing themselves and enjoying the weekend. Drinking alcohol has nothing to do with sex. When someone sees a woman drinking at the club, it doesn’t mean she is inviting him to harass her because no one would think a man drinking alcohol is inviting women to rape him. The idea that “guy’s drinking is fun, it’s normal socializing. But girls’ drinking has always meant the same thing: sex” (Valentis 2008 2008, 193) is completely stereotype and discriminating. Women should have the equal right of enjoying alcohol and clubs, but now they are afraid of drinking and going to the clubs because they don’t want to be recognized as “slut”, while, men don’t have such concerns and worries.

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